For anyone new to the site, here's a handy contents page for the ghost town series for ease of reading:
Enjoy!
For anyone new to the site, here's a handy contents page for the ghost town series for ease of reading:
Enjoy!
For the time being, I'm putting out an open invitation for guest contributions to Long Lost Bother. Now while we're finding our focus and voice for the sheer entertainment value of the site, please email anything you think will fit to: gurnardman@gmail.com
Now I might edit the shit out of it just to fit my idea of internet-funny, but you still get full credit as an LLB writer (which is one step above Botherer, which is one step above airline pilot, in the respect of your peers kind of sense).
Coming to the conclusion of the Long Lost Bother Ghost Town World Tour, (and thanks for coming on the ride, guys, how about I start calling you Botherers? would you like that? It could be like our thing), and we’ve seen towns abandoned for all sorts of reasons. Economic downturn, excessive ghosting, radioactive supermonsters (I think, did that happen? Someone read down and report back), we’ve pretty much seen it all.
Except this. A town that closed up shop because the motherfucking gates of hell opened up underneath it and I’m only very slightly exaggerating here!
Very slightly
So here we are at the end of this long and terrifying road. And once again I'd like to thank the small but growing number of you following alongside me. The internet ain't a lonely place with you guys around.
I have a special invitation to all my Botherers out there. I want you guys to help choose the direction Long Lost Bother takes from here on. More comics made with semi-obscure celebrities lashed together into untoward situations? More long-winded journeys through shit you want to know? More recipes? Is that want you want from me?
I'm easy. Got some bit of writing you want read by more than five people? Let's talk.
Yours,
Gentleman Dan
Where is it?
Near the town of Kyshtym, deep in the Ural mountains of Russia.
Hey, where did everybody go?
Running on a theme from last entry, here’s another cautionary tale on being really, really careful with atomic power. In this case, the Mayak facility was built to produce nuclear weapons for the Soviets to point angrily at North America in the early Cold War. And it was built to do so quickly and cheaply. Warning lights going off yet? Well initially, the Mayak complex happily dumped all its radioactive waste byproducts into the nearest river, until someone had the bright idea of putting in storage tanks. Great idea, right? Way better than risking gigantic mutant beavers storming up from downriver. Except when one of the tanks exploded, hurling the waste in a 350km radius.
10,000 people were quickly evacuated from Mayak. And by quickly, I mean after around 200 people literally melted from the insane level of radioactivity. In an actual quote from journalist Richard Pollock, “…victims were seen with skin 'sloughing off' their faces, hands and other exposed parts of their bodies”
Why it’s scary as hell
All this happened in 1957, but nobody knew about it for decades afterwards. Think about that. The Soviet government successfully covered up the close second- or worst (depending on your scale of worseness) nuclear disaster in history for almost 30 years. How awesome at secret-keeping would a government have to be to pull this shit off? The US government couldn’t even keep a blanket on their secret project at Area 51 (the Lockheed Blackbird, dumbass, not whatever you’re imagining right now) for more than a few years, and the Russians could keep Mayak under their hat for long enough that it was barely news anymore when the truth finally came out. Which begs the question, why didn’t the Russians fake a moon landing? They clearly had the balls to pull it off.
I’ll leave you with just one more chilling fact. After dissident Russian scientist Zhores Medvedev blew the whistle on the Mayak/Kyshtym disaster, the almost-complete documentation on the event wouldn’t see the light until the collapse of the Soviet empire. But even then, a few details remain classified by the Russian government, and one of those details is just what happened to the evacuees. Could this mean there are currently 10,000 radioactive zombies prowling the Urals to this day? I’ll leave that one up to you guys.
Where is it?
The Kiev region of Ukraine. Built under the Soviet regime in 1970 as a planned community for the workers of the nearby power station.
Hey, where did everybody go?
If you hadn’t heard of Pripyat before, but the words “power station” tipped you off, then you can guess exactly where this is going. The power station in question was the notorious Chernobyl nuclear reactor complex and Pripyat was hastily evacuated in 1986 when reactor #4 blew the fuck up, and forever linked the words “nuclear” and “meltdown” to the “pants-shitting terror” gland in the brain of almost every human being on the planet.
Why it’s scary as hell
Places with ominous names like The Zone shouldn’t exist in real life, that’s supposed to be restricted only to cheesy sci-fi horror scenarios.
But Pripyat and the surrounding Zone is a post-apocalyptic nightmare. As you would expect, Pripyat is incredibly radioactive. Certain areas have far more concentrated contamination than others, with strong enough radiation to kill you within minutes. Many of these are where equipment from the reactor were buried, and nobody is quite sure where all of these spots are anymore.
This was totally worth it.
St Kilda, Scotland
Where is it?
So wha’ happened next Angus?
The daft bastard pulled me feathers oot, din he
The ownership of the island was hereditary, and residents had for time immemorial paid their rent in said feathers.
Hey, where did everybody go?
The islanders had happily lived in obscurity up until mainlanders started seeing the place as a tourist destination, spreading disease and just being fucking pests. Then when most of the able-bodied young men of the island got drafted into World War I the whole place spiralled into decline until in the 1930s residents demanded the government fly them the fuck out of there.
Did we mention that up until that point, the owner of the island, one Reginald MacLeod, was still bat-shit crazy enough to continue demanding the long-traditional rent payment? Yes, the feathers.
Why it’s scary as hell
Hey, where did everybody go?
From the 1960s, coal operations started shutting down all over Japan along with the rise of petroleum as the primary fuel source. Mitsubishi, who owned Hashima, closed the whole place down in 1974.
Why it’s scary as hell
The whole place is constantly raining rubble. Hashima has resisted any attempt at turning into a tourist destination because apparently, just going sightseeing turns into a level from an old platform game where you have to jump across gaps and dodge falling bricks.
The Taliban also saw Now Zad as a strategic point in their campaign to rid Afghanistan of Western infidels. Once the fighting started with British troops and their ninja allies (well, Ghurkas), the civilian population decided not to stay in the fucking middle of the shit, and got out of Dodge.
Bhangarh, India
Hey, where did everybody go?
As legend has it, the Raja’s younger son Madho Singh made his capital here, and local holyman Baba Balanath was fairly cool with it, only giving the one condition “If the shadow of your palace touches my feet, your whole city is fucked”. And Madho apparently decided “You know what? Fuck Baba Balanath, I’ma shadow all over that motherfucker!” and promptly built a massive palace which, as was intended, blocked some sunlight from Baba Balanath’s feet. We’re not quite sure what Baba Balanath did (besides, we assume, stand up and give a Dirty Harry glare at the palace) but the city has been abandoned ever since.
There’s a few other stories, but they all result in a sorcerer, shaman or demon slapping the crap out of the city, killing everyone and leaving the place haunted as fuck.
Why it’s scary as hell
So many ghosts they’ve virtually been included on the Indian census, that and the lingering threat of Baba Balanath getting pissy if you get your dirty fucking shadow on him.
The Indian Government’s Archeological Survey had a look at Bhangarh a few years ago and officially declared it haunted as fuck.
The official sign-post outside of town, translation: haunted as fuck.
Actually says “keep out at night”, but you know what the hell they mean.
Watch this space for the rest of this series. Gentleman Dan also writes at www.cracked.com